Mahadevi Makar

She ran behind me feeing foul
Like fermented Parijat
Her blinking was a red traffic light –
Warning all the way
Too cold for tropics
Those eyes never seemed to have seen at all
The cigarette butt on the guilty ground
Acrid, pungent, acidic fumes
Showers of profanity
Upon the city-girl who had enjoyed its smoke

The moonshine bar stank nearby
Was the werewolf on its trail?
When girls outside box their way into their futures
Rahu casts a sly shadow on ours
Hot, humid flatlands busy burning witches
While tin-roofs blind the pain of brothel girls
Once bitten, twice shy; fangs refuse to hide
Let fate sleep uneasy on swallowed destinies
Awake enough to know now, Parijat "weaves" despite vengeance
As she ran before me, I silently worshipped a Mahadevi.

Poet’s Note:

My personal theory is that poetry should never be prone to explanations, rather be allowed to be interpreted. But in the past I have realized many times that sometimes an explanation actually helps create a better understanding of an abstract piece, especially if the writer had personal references in mind during writing that the rest of the readers may not be aware of. Mahadevi Makar is one such allegorical piece. Having said that, I would still welcome any interpretations that you all can give. I believe that the more varied perspective a poem can have, the more its appeal. Every sentence in this poem has a meaning deeper than what may appear at the surface. Here is my attempt at explaining its intricacies:

Overall, the poem is about women empowerment. Broad as this may sound, I try to approach it through the eyes of a symbolic Nepali lady who I refer to as Mahadevi at the end of the poem. The Parijat could either be the flower that many of us know but Parijat was a prolific female writer who can be called the pioneer for introducing feminine issues in Nepali literature. Parijat was always ailed by diseases and had a life of suffering which explains the term "fermented".

The term "bhatti" translates to moonshine bar. The stinking is in turn symbolic of the putrid hearts who are all too willing to sell women across the border. The werewolf is the agent who sometimes even goes to the extent of marrying a woman in order to convince her of his innocence. But this werewolf changes faces when he sells the woman. The boxing reference comes from my having watched two movies on the subject of women boxers, namely "Girlfight" and "Million Dollar Baby". "Rahu" refers to the astronomy that still plays such a big role in our lives, especially in the latter part where marriages are concerned. Burning of witches is not just about women in Terai region accused of practicing witchcraft but also the incidents we sometimes hear of where a family can go to the extent of "burning" their daughter-in-law due to unsatisfactory dowry. I once read of an article about a village who traded their daughters for tin-roofs. The "fangs" slyly refer to the all so talked about virginity. I call this symbolic woman a Mahadevi in the end because despite years of suffering, she chooses to use her vengeance to "weave" which I look at as a creative way to channel and counter wrath.

I hope the explanations helped a bit in your understanding. Again, I don't mean to take away from you all, the pleasures of interpretations! So please feel welcome to provide new perspectives.

Impasse

Always there and not there

So prominent and noticeable

and yet mingled and mashed with the background

Looking out when there's nothing to look out to

It's all shrouded, engulfed in the misery of the fog

and whatever I have is within feet

The rest is water – inviting –

so ready to drown me.

Guilt and exaggerated emotions

the Karma keeps coming back

in daunting circles.

This may be fickle and trifling

and I don’t know if I can spend days floating

I would start to flail and eventually drown

and not once would you know of my sinking

not once would I call for help…

Don’t bother being the middleman in the see-saw

and keep knocking into her arms then mine

depending which side goes in the air

and which side can weigh your emotions down

I don't want to play that game

I don't want to go back to those murky depths

of blood-filled water, slit veins and upturned eyes

Oh those intrusions – the universe of coaxed

confessions.

Photo copyright: Mark Stacey